Wednesday, April 28, 2010

How To Make Friends

Times of India, Feb 2, 2010

Reading a news report about a fake friendship club being busted brought back an old memory. I was barely six. My friends and i were afraid of this stout girl who used to walk like a strict headmistress. Her fury was such that we lived in perennial fear of being abused, physically and mentally. I decided then to devise a counteraction plan. I put forward my yellow rose proposal at an opportune time and moment. She was initially sceptical. But, as one recounted to her the merits of such an alliance, she gradually came around. I forged my first 'fake friendship' in that moment, and it made me think deeply about the idea of a fake friendship and the various ways in which we befriend people. Why, first of all, does the need for forming such a pact arise? When do we need to make a 'fake friend'? It so happens that when we are emotionally weak or have something to gain from that so-called friend, we indulge in fake friendships.

Fake friends are all around us. From praising the canteenwallah bhaiya in exchange of those cups of free chai to greeting the head of the administrative department with a wide smile in order to get work done faster, we weave a web of pretensions around us all the time. And, of course, a few words of kindness exchanged with the librarian also help waive that 100-rupee fine. It is not just the real world that has been plagued by this syndrome; the virtual world is increasingly following in its footsteps. Recently, an Australian company called uSocial began selling fake friends on social networking sites. Come to think of it, a thousand friends for 125 pounds is not a bad deal. The latest Oxford University study, however, might get you caught. It says the human brain can only manage 150 friends at a time. So, soon everyone will know that the rest are simply fakes. But then to say that fake friends are always harmful and useless might not be correct. In fact, it is almost impossible to predict the fate of such friendships. Many times, they turn out to be far better than the ones you formed without any motive. Now, this leads to a larger question: Should everything in life be motivated by our needs? Probably yes. Saintly souls might ask whatever happened to the ideal of selflessness. But, did it really exist in the first place?

1 comment:

Devz said...

The entire 'International Relations' is founded on 'fake friendship phenomenon'. Remember the saying- There are no permanent enemies or friends, but only permanent interests.